Corporate Chris is more than his behaviour
Chris had learned that to get on in the corporate world you
didn’t want to rock the boat too much.
That doesn’t mean not at all.
Just not too much. So, a little
rocking is good, that shows a genuine interest and passion for the work. A desire to change and be dynamic. But not a stickler for detail. They’re the worst. They’re so negative. The nay-sayers’. They’re so dull and miserable. You don’t want to be stuck in the corner of
the pub talking to them. ‘I’d rather
jump out of window’ Chris used to say to himself.
So, Chris had come up through the ranks of the corporate
sector in the 80s and 90s. This was
where he learned about the world of work.
He even wore the ‘corporate culture’ outfits. It started out with the power suits, Gordon
Gecko style. The 80s braces, bright
shirts and ties. Then there was the 90s
dress down on Friday’s with the Ralph Lauren tops and chino trousers. And then the internet came along and things
gradually started to change.
Chris developed a specific model of the world alongside the
outfits that came from corporate survival. This is all about getting on and
moving up the corporate ladder and getting promotions and career progression. In those days this was a very viable
definition of success. The 80s had been
the decade of material success and the 90s followed suit. This map of success was seductive even if it
left a gap for people like Chris. But
that gap could easily be filled with other things like a new car, a promotion,
a few business trips to fancy places.
These are things that Chris had not experienced as a youngster. So, these material things were powerfully
seductive. Plus, Chris was settling
down. He had a mortgage to pay and he
knew of some people who had suffered negative equity in the recession of the early
80s and they still hadn’t really recovered from the financial impact of that.
Chris was making the best choices available to him. He had created a model of his current
situation that completely justified the path he was on. And yet, something was missing for him. But, every time he got that feeling deep in
his gut, he managed to push it to one side or even deny it completely. In fact, as the months and then years went
by, that feeling became so buried, he often became quite un-conscious of it. It was always still there, and it was part of
him but not a part of him that he could particularly recognise or acknowledge
any more. Often Chris’s behaviour belied
this part of him. The new successful,
corporate Chris was in full flow and he didn’t need to worry about any other
parts of him that were buried deeper in his consciousness.
Chris’s behaviour was helping him to get on. He was a different person at work. He started to feel good in his work outfits
and create a character that fitted the environment that he was now quite used
to. He was surprised at how easily he
could join the corporate jokes about women and others. He was tasting success and that made him feel
powerful and so he was seduced into
borderline bullying. He could revel in
the lack of organisational clarity and ride the waves of vagueness. He found himself setting objectives that
everybody knew were impossible. And when
no one challenged him, he found a surprising sense of self-importance, that he
knew, wasn’t quite right. Yet somehow it
was exciting; and surprisingly easy to pursue.
It was all too seductive for him.
Meanwhile, his popularity was wavering amongst his
staff. It’s not that he didn’t
care. He really did care. He liked people and he yearned for the connection
he never had at school. He had always envied the boys who were good at
football and cricket. He just hadn’t had
that hand eye co-ordination and so this was his time. Here and now.
But that feeling in his gut.
It just wouldn’t go away. He
couldn’t work out what it was, but something was murmuring, and it just didn’t
feel right. He found it would reveal
itself in the most surprising moments.
Often, he’d be driving his car in the weekend or he’d be taking his boys
to the park and he’d just get really, almost un-controllably angry. He’d be sitting behind his steering wheel and
find himself swearing at someone who had cut in front of him on the
motorway. And then in the middle of the
night he’d wake up with a start; feeling a little embarrassed with himself. Was this really the Chris that he had seen himself
to become as a little boy growing up.
And then there were the times when his little boy, Curtis,
would show some genuine sensitivity.
He’d berate him for being too soft.
‘Man up Curtis. The world doesn’t
have space for your whimpering. If you wanna
get on you’ve got to learn to deal with stuff.
Toughen up. Don’t show your
weakness. People will jump all over that
and eat you for breakfast boy!’. It
often took days for Chris to truly calm down from these outbursts at
Curtis. Somewhere Chris saw himself as a
little boy and his son’s ‘softness’ was almost un-bearable for Chris.
Chris had created an armour that he wore to help him to face
the world of manhood and to get on in his career.
People are much more than their behaviour
Whilst this armour was a way of presenting himself to the
outside world it isn’t the whole Chris.
Even though it is ‘how he shows up’ there is so much more to Chris. The question is, how can he be more in tune
with the other parts of himself? Chris
is more than this behaviour. And if he
can find a way of bringing more of those other parts of himself to the world,
he might find that he is happier, more connected and more in tune with his
place in the world.
What an idea!
